The interview is over, and you wait patiently to hear back from the hiring manager. You were prepared, you have an impressive resume, and you answered all the questions with confidence. A week later you call back, and they have given the job to another candidate.
You are having drinks, waiting for you dinner to come, you are talking about something you caught this morning on the news. You don't completely understand it, but you seem to have your dates attention and they probably don't know much about it either. Suddenly they have a family emergency to attend to, and you are left to finish a bottle of wine by yourself.
Sound familiar? Many of us have found ourselves in these kinds of situations. Although we feel we impressed the other party, somehow it went wrong, and we are left scratching our heads. The problem could be the communication style. Many people make these mistakes without realizing it. Here are five mistakes to think about in your next social situation.
Mistake #1 Not listening
While talking about your time in Africa, being a part of the movement to save the endangered Corsican Swallowtail, you are so busy thinking about what to say next, you don't hear your interviewer tell you the duties for the position you are interviewing for. When you ask about the responsibilities, you are shocked to see they're annoyed with the question. This is something that many fall prey to, instead of listening to the other person, they are busy thinking about what to say next. Do this a few times during an interview, you will be sure to blow it. Take the time to listen, and you will not ask something that has already been stated, you may hear something that helps you answer another question later, or they may answer the question you were about to ask.
Mistake #2 Talking for the sake of Talking
We've all heard the phrase "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all". Another wise thought is, if you don't have anything to say, don't say anything! During a interview, on a date, or just meeting someone new, we feel pressured to talk or answer every question to show our intelligence. Instead we speak in half truths that are easy to see through. If a topic arises that you know little or nothing about, don't talk about it! You never know, the other person may be an expert and can catch you in your half truth. Give your opinion, be honest, and move on. Which leads to the next mistake.....
Mistake #3 Lie
This one seems obvious, but can never be understated. Like mistake number two, we feel pressured to talk when asked a question. The difference here is you answer a question with a lie to align your skills with the organization's, or to make it look like you have more in common with someone new. When you get caught in your lie is when the trouble begins. If you are hired despite the lie, or dating progresses, what happens when a new task is placed in front of you and you have no idea how to perform it? What happens when your new love interest realizes you don't have a yacht? Avoid the situation and tell the truth.
Mistake #4 Don't Think Before You Speak
A lot of time people think that answering questions quickly shows intelligence and wit. Sometimes, but it can often make situations worse. It's alright to take a second and think about how you want to answer a question. Give yourself time to process the information and deliver the proper answer. In these kinds of situations, you have one opportunity to make an impression. By blurting out the first answer that pops into your head, you may say something you regret.
Mistake #5 Be Negative
It is alright if you have criticisms of a certain subject, but in these settings, the other person does not need to hear about it. Someone considering hiring you wants to bring on someone who will be a positive force in their organization. If you talk about how annoying your last job was, they won't see that in you. If you start to complain about restaurants charge too much while on a date, your date sees a penny pincher, not a savvy spender. Speaking negatively about past events or people is not the way to make an impression. Maintain a positive attitude, you want the other person to know that you can handle any situation with a bright outlook.
It's important in any social setting to be introspective. Be aware of yourself, and be aware of who you are speaking to. It is not always about having all the right answers.
